Written 2003 for the Vanguard school newspaper, I had some praise over writing this.   Many years after the fact, I still consider myself an Ozzy fan.   I went to his recent tour earlier this year (which was awesome), and I even read his autobiography (which was a pretty damn good read).   BUT(!), I still can’t stand his show…and furthermore, I can not stand Sharon Osbourne, when she flaps her annoying jaw on TV.

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Everybody thinks just because I was an obsessive Ozzy Osbourne fan back in 7th grade, I would be so excited for this very unintelligent show called The Osbournes, however they were wrong. This show has a severe case of overateditis. Actually, the only good aspect about this show is that it shows what people who do drugs on a weekly or monthly basis will be like in thirty years, walking-talking zombies.

I grew up with Ozzy’s music from a rock `n’ roll-like family, but I knew Ozzy had the biggest ego of all time (coming from a guy that bites off bat and pigeon heads over being drunk). He has an even bigger ego than pop-gone-bad Steven Tyler and solo-gone-bad David Lee Roth.
Ozzy Osbourne has influenced and inspired a lot of bands we see today. To put it more lightly, Black Sabbath created heavy metal. If it weren’t for Ozzy and crew, who knows whom we would be idolizing now.

But creating an “in-your-face, we-are-rich-and-stupid, you’re-not” show is a little less than creative. However, I do give MTV credit. It’s about time they actually do something that involves some form of music since they usually do shows like Road Rules or Real World, which defeats what MTV is about and stands for. But a show displaying real intelligence could be much better.

Imagine Martin Scorsese directing an episode of Undressed. That would be more entertaining then seeing an episode of The Osbournes. Come on. If you have a bunch of cameraman all around your house, wouldn’t you act a little less than ordinary? That’s what makes the show unrealistic. If you had hidden cameras all around the house, maybe it would work out.

Some of our rock legends even disagree about this new chapter in Ozzy’s life. “I think it’s a shame because I think Ozzy is being laughed at,” Alice Cooper said during an interview on a radio station. “And, really, what does that kind of television say about our society?

Even “Uncle” Ted Nugent said during a TV interview, “[The Osbournes display] an indictment to the soullessness of modern man that we get a kick out of witnessing a magnificent creature reduced to a blithering, hopeless idiot.” Ouch!

If that’s not enough, what gives Sharon Osbourne the right to insult Ozzy, her family, and rock `n’ roll as a whole? This business deal Sharon made isn’t a good one, since she is the brains of the already gone brain cells of Ozzy Osbourne. She has made her family now commercialized to a point where it’s not about rock `n’ roll anymore; it’s about their riches.

I went to “The Merry Mayhem Tour” last year at this time, and was never so excited for a concert as I was back then. But three months later when the first season premiered, I flat out lost all respect for the guy. While others who aren’t even Ozzy fans are getting into this show, I hate it. The only reason why I watch it is to see what crazy thing Ozzy will do next. Other than that, I think I’d rather watch a toilet flush, since it has that same-effect.

For being a devoted fan over the years, that says a lot. I would rather see a movie version of Ozzy’s life from the days of the slaughterhouse back in the 1960s to the days of Randy Rhoads death back in the early 1980s. That would at least be more tasteful than what is shown of Ozzy Osbourne. If this show teaches kids anything, it’s to say “no” to drugs.