"To entertain, inspire, frighten, teach, and entice as many readers as possible." - Keith Helinski
Wastin' Away Press features Keith Helinski's writings, ranging from short stories online to movie reviews over the years. Also features an assortment of Keith's interests. If you like what you see, check out Wastin' Away Press's official Facebook.
"It was a fun little writing project for me. It wasn’t meant to be anything more than that. It’s free, so at least no one can bitch that I am profiting from this story. If I had to give a rating, I would give RAISE YOUR GLASS between 2.5 to 3 stars. No, it isn’t a great story (or my best) It’s funny, though (at least, to me!) I am grateful a handful of readers thought it was funny as well.
I think Twilight is one giant inside joke. I don’t get why it’s so popular, and the Twilight fans don’t get why Twilight is so easy to make fun of. I don’t even think avid Twilight fans realize how silly they are. I made this point once in the introduction, and I will say it again - the dialogue in RAISE YOUR GLASS came from real people, the same people that will embarrass themselves online with the reviews they write. The same people that will make YouTube videos, praising how wonderful Twilight is, like that Emma Clark fruit-cake (the real life Anne Marie Wilkes Dugan!) If I had to dedicate this ebook to anyone, it would be to THOSE people who inspired this story! And it’s the uproar that keeps this story in the top ten Amazon list.”
"RAISE YOUR GLASS did get published/printed last year in a college publication in Maine called The Binnacle. Nothing big or anything. I don’t even think you can buy it. When the story got accepted, I received a positive email from a person name Gerard NeCastro, who wrote:
“We received nearly 500 submissions for this edition, and we have selected about thirty of them for publication, so we think you should be proud of your work.”
Regardless of the negative backlash this story has been getting, I am proud of it. And I know it has a share of fans too…”
"As a writer in this self-publishing world, it’s hard to predict how a story is perceived by readers. Some sell well. Some do not. And just the same, some of my stories sell well. Some do not. However, I had a good feeling about RAISE YOUR GLASS, and knew the kind of reaction I would get.
This isn’t a great story by any means, and I never intended it to be one. I just wanted to have some fun poking at one of the easiest targets in current pop culture: Twilight and the Twilight fans (and this was a year before the infamous breakup between Bella and Edward!) I had fun writing the story. I had fun publishing it. And I am having fun watching reader’s reaction. I smile just as much when I read a negative review from a pissed off Twilight-er, especially the ones that criticize my criticism while spelling criticize wrong!”
"Before I go on, and if you are new here, let me stress on one point - if you are a Twilight fan that easily gets offended, don’t continue. I repeat, DON’T CONTINUE IF YOU ARE A TWILIGHT FAN. Why? Don’t expect a fulfilling fan-fiction. Don’t expect any praise for Stephenie Meyer. Don’t expect me to pick a team between EDWARD or JACOB. And certainly don’t expect a great story. I have been told this story is BAD. Though, there are degrees of bad (which I will get to shortly), this isn’t bad-bad, just bad for Twilight fans. But I wanted to make sure I save some time and embarrassment for me (and you), so if the poorly written reviews that is attached to this story isn’t enough for you to go away, I hope this disclaimer gives you a hint: IF YOU ARE A TWILIGHT FAN THAT A) THINKS TWILIGHT IS THE GREATEST THING ON EARTH AND B) DOES NOT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, GO AWAY!
Loved these two short stories that poke fun at the Twilight craze. My kids and I read the first one together and they laughed and sympathized with Poor Ron. It was a great and noble act of self sacrifice that Poor Ron did, braving the store brimming with Twilight fans! We lift our drinks to him!
"‘Twilight,’ I’m sorry, is about a very unhealthy, toxic relationship. She falls in love with this guy and the second he leaves her, her life is over and she’s going to kill herself! What message are we sending to young people? That is not going to help this world evolve."
'…it's more like a nightmare!' touches upon heavy topics and issues people deal with in their every day life, like the temptation of chopping individuals up into little pieces and stuffing the pieces into movie theater seats, or finding out you are the last survivor of the human race after a zombie infestation takes over the planet, or being stuck in line between a TEAM EDWARD fan and a TEAM JACOB fan (now that’s damn scary!)
The eBook is free for two more days. Please check it out, and let me know your thoughts (whether you thought it was the greatest or it sucked) by reviewing via Amazon.
I am planning on writing a sequel to this story down the road, with poor-poor Ron stuck in the middle of a midnight premiere of ‘50 Shades of Grey.’ And yes, I will go see it whenever it does come out - just for the entertainment value. :p
To this day, I still don’t understand the ‘Twilight’ fad. After watching the remaining films last week, I am left with so many questions.
Why was there a TEAM JACOB and a TEAM EDWARD when the fan-base already knew the outcome of the series, and who would end up winning Bella’s heart?
Why was JACOB/EDWARD fighting over Bella in the first place, when the girl had no depth/personality, or substance, other than wanting a boyfriend?
Why didn’t the CGI wolves look proportioned throughout the series?
In ‘Breaking Dawn: Part One,’ what the hell was the filmmakers thinking of filming the honeymoon scenes in a CGI-looking lake?
What was going through the minds of the filmmakers when they thought it was a good choice making Bella’s/Edward’s baby CGI? Follow up question: why was their child CGI throughout the WHOLE MOVIE?!?
Did the filmmakers even pay attention to the inconsistency editing of ‘Breaking Dawn: Part Two,’ in which during the lack-luster battle tail-end of the movie, the camera does close up shots, focusing on what appears to be hundreds of blood-thirsty vampires from Italy, ready for battle - but kills the vibe in the scene with long angle shots of maybe ten vampires in the same group?
During all of this, the one question I still kept asking myself - people actually think this is good?
All and all, I had a good laugh with the ‘Twilight’ series. I didn’t think it could get any worse than vampire baseball. The CGI kid during the last ‘Twilight’ tops it all of WTF moments.
The author of RAISE YOUR GLASS is starting to finally get a chance to sit down, relax, and LOL to the remaining ‘Twilight’ films I’ve haven’t seen yet (only has taken me a few years). I’ve been thinking about having a ‘Twilight’ marathon for some time now, but I don’t think me (or my wife) could handle that. We might die from being exposed to glimmering vampires and forced dumbed-down dialogue.
We could’ve re-watched the first two movies, but I didn’t want to stomach vampire baseball and a ten-minute montage of an empty chair in a classroom, so we started things off with the unnecessary filler movie: ‘Eclipse.’ The film was 40 minutes too long (could’ve trimmed down the repetitive exposition, which was over-explained at least five times in the film), decrease how many times TEAM JACOB says the word FEEL, and toned down Bella/Edward blank stares. What I did enjoy from the film was the back-stories of the vampires in the Cullen clang, but ‘True Blood’ does a better job with those kind of scenes. Then again, ‘True Blood’ is better made trash. This is just…trash!
Majority of the film is bad. Very bad. Not only is the dialogue horrible (and the acting, just as ugh), but the pacing/editing/and CGI - almost looks fan-made.
Forget the whole ‘chick-flick’ argument, I’ve seen rom-com’s that are better executed/directed/presented than ‘Eclipse.’ Usually, when filmmakers cut one scene into another scene, they would pay attention to how it flows coherently. There’s no flow to this film. It’s sad that none of the ‘Twilight’ fans noticed that.
As for me, I had one hell of a good LOL-fest (my wife and I should’ve recorded our commentary of the experience!)
Will be seeing the final film(s) within the week. Wish me luck!
Being one of those hard core, obsessed fans myself, I found this to be light hearted and amusing. I’ve both over heard, as well as been apart of such conversations, and agree with their ridiculousness. Twilight was just a break from day to day life, but for someone that doesn’t feel the same way about it….I can understand how obnoxious it must seem.
Kudos to you for shining a light on how silly it must seem to an outsider. Job well done, I enjoyed it.