Wastin' Away Press
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"To entertain, inspire, frighten, teach, and entice as many readers as possible." - Keith Helinski



Wastin' Away Press features Keith Helinski's writings, ranging from short stories online to movie reviews over the years. Also features an assortment of Keith's interests. If you like what you see, check out Wastin' Away Press's official Facebook.

Hellplex Raise Your Glass Snowpocalypse Now Seating... Wastin' Away Emotions MovieFreak That Day Livin' the Dream it's More like a Nightmare! The Vanguard

   Ask me anything   Ponder
May 15, 2013
"Ignoring the outrageous topic of this work of ”art”, Mr Helinski shows poor writing skills. This story lacks any sign of compassion or respect, Ms Meyer is a new writer, she did a fantastic job with the Twilight Saga. Hence the huge number of books sold worldwide, the overwhelming amount of tickets sold opening day, weekend, and throughout the run of each movie. Than there are the DVD ‘s, scores, soundtracks, jewellery, clothing, and much more merchandise. To bring the marvellous Stephen King into this is and absurd, Mr King has more respect for fellow writers. I wish Mr Helinski success in his attempt to become as writer. I hope he don’t have someone like himself to try to push him down. I found that most people that knows about Twilight either loves it or hates it, so why must these naysayers waste time on Twilight?"

—

S. Thompson; wonderfully written ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon

***

A LOL review I just had to reply to. :p

4:13am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxl18lju
Filed under: quotes Raise your glass twilight Amazon 
May 13, 2013
"It was kind of interesting, actually.
I liked how he mentioned bestiality and necrophilia- people often forget these two. :D at the same time, I kind of felt that the whole “I’ve never read a single page but trust me, it sucks” is kind of overdone. I dunno, maybe it’s because I actually like the books(but it ISN’T my favorite series and I’m not going to act offended, because I’m not. Plenty of people don’t like Twilight.). This isn’t really a parody, either. All in all, it was pretty okay, though. For all religious Twilight fans- don’t read this, you’ll only upset yourself."

— lauren; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon

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(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: quotes Amazon twilight Raise your glass 
May 12, 2013
"I thought this short story was funny. I have heard those conversations between Team Jacob and Team Edward twihards. They are funny. I maintain anything that gets someone to read and enjoy it then that’s what’s important. This book made me laugh and it improved my day. No, it isn’t the most eloquently written short story ever. No it wasn’t the deepest story that made a person ponder life, but it did make me laugh and I appreciate that. Analyzing it to be more than it is meant to be would be silly. Read, laugh, enjoy and don’t take a story so seriously. It isn’t life or death!"

—

Tiffany; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Goodreads

***

Awws…thank you! Glad my story improved your day. :-)

11:57pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxktFSS7
Filed under: quotes twilight Raise your glass goodreads 
May 12, 2013
"Raise Your Glass is what it is and makes no pretentious claims otherwise. I am a Twilight Saga fan, and I thought this was humurous. I don’t know why people take it so seriously. Like one reviewer who said, everyone is entitled to their opinion but you have no right to criticise….? Huh?"

— Kat Laytham; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon

11:45am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxkpzSv2
Filed under: quotes Raise your glass twilight Amazon 
May 10, 2013
"Very graphic parody, not something I would read no matter the topic it had. Story of the young man in line was mildly amusing."

—

 cameljaque; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon.


***

And the Twilight series isn’t high school spew? Hmmm….

1:09pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxkg3njK
Filed under: quotes Raise your glass twilight Amazon 
April 28, 2013
"I thought this short story was funny. I have heard those conversations between Team Jacob and Team Edward twihards. They are funny. I maintain anything that gets someone to read and enjoy it then that’s what’s important. This book made me laugh and it improved my day. No, it isn’t the most eloquently written short story ever. No it wasn’t the deepest story that made a person ponder life, but it did make me laugh and I appreciate that. Analyzing it to be more than it is meant to be would be silly. Read, laugh, enjoy and don’t take a story so seriously. It isn’t life or death!"

— Tiffany Herbst; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon

2:03am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxjiuDho
Filed under: quotes Amazon twilight Raise your glass 
April 26, 2013
"

He lost one star only because his skit was too short. You don’t have to like or not like Twilight to read. I am a great Twifan. First part details a guy’s experience while waiting in line for a Twilight DVD; can’t remember which episode/part. Second part parodies in Madd style a conversation between Edward/Rpatz and Bella/Kstew. There are a few f’s and a bit of language. Nice that both the good and bad reviews were included. I also had fun reading them.

Whatever is in there is actually true. How some fans behave, the script between the two characters/actors is actual food for thought…. I mean if we take ourselves away from the nostalgia of Twilight and seriously critic it we would get to the same point the author has. I did long ago even though I have all the dvds, books and soundtracks.The books and most of the movies are not for tweens as they detail stalking, push sex before marriage from Bella’s point, promote anger and hostility and yes they do promote violence in different strengths. The book was free and there really isn’t need for comparison between his work and Twilight. It’s just a take on fans’ behaviour. Quite frankly if Stephenie M. loved her fans so much she would give us Midnight Sun completed. We have begged enough for it.

Good work Keith.

"

—

Amazona; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon.

***

:)  Thank you.

3:56am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxjZkD9T
Filed under: quotes Amazon twilight Raise your glass 
April 7, 2013
"I am all for Parody and a little mockery but this book was manly made up of Keith’s reviews and literally took me less time to read than it does to blow my nose! Even for free this book is not worth the minute and a half it takes to read. I was hoping for about four hours of fun at the expense of Twilight and ended up with pages of some man laughing at his bad reviews and talking about standing in a line to buy a DVD only to conclude with a strange script involving Bella and Edward and yet more reviews… What was the point Keith really ?"

—

jodie bennett; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon UK.


***

“What was the point Keith really?”

To see how many Twilight fans I could piss off. It worked. ;-)

11:56am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxi7cdc6
Filed under: quotes Amazon twilight Raise your glass 
March 31, 2013
"

Um I am a huge fan of twilight but I don’t go crazy when someone other than my brother insults twilight I just really hate it.

This book is not the best twilight spoof out there by far I guarantee that you can find a better one than this
VERY VERY glAd it is free

"

—

Nicole Barton; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon


***

‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ has officially reached its 40th review on Amazon! 15 of those reviews are one-stars from disgruntled ‘Twilight’ fans.

10:07pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxhcF35f
Filed under: quotes Raise your glass twilight Amazon 
March 25, 2013
"This book really was not good it makes fun of the twilight saga and Edward and Jacob as well I would not read this again"

—

caresia allen; long-winded review of ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ via Amazon


***

It is reviews like this one, that inspired me to include all the reviews in the eBook!

1:31am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxh3gfwI
Filed under: quotes Raise your glass Amazon twilight 
March 17, 2013
"I’m definitely a fan of twilight… but I give everyone their own opinion… I think openly hating on twilight is almost as bad as being loud and obnoxious about how great it is… I think the author of this short book was not quite a hater and simply expressing his opinion..much better than some people do…I even agree with him on some points like that the twilight fans can be obnoxious and annoying… I think he was humorous and good at writing..and overall I liked it… I think it was worth reading.. and I’d like to state one more thing… I don’t understand why the die-hard fans would read a book they know is gonna dog twilight..they know it’s gonna upset then, and he tells them it will… then they read it anyway… and comment how much they hate it and allthat… seems stupid"

— Maria tracy; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon

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Filed under: quotes Raise your glass twilight Amazon 
March 17, 2013
"So next time you have a drink, make sure to raise your glass up high and toast Ron, poor-poor Ron. You may laugh now my friends, but you certainly would not be laughing if you were stuck in the Twilight saga war zone between a Team Edward fan and a Team Jacob fan!"

—

Raise Your Glass: Stuck in the Twilight Saga

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Filed under: quotes Raise your glass twilight Amazon 
March 11, 2013
"Only took me about 15 minutes to read. It was kind of boring and not very well written. 2/5 stars."

— Miranda Quesenberry; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon

11:53am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxg0_LRn
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: quotes Amazon Raise your glass twilight 
March 9, 2013
"Ron, poor-poor Ron, stood in line. No fast pass could get him out of this. He was there, whether he liked it or not! TEAM EDWARD fan was in front of him. TEAM JACOB fan got behind him. And without even a warning, referee, or time out; friction emerged between the two teams."

—

Raise Your Glass: Stuck in the Twilight Saga

11:49am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxft4be2
Filed under: quotes Raise your glass twilight Amazon 
March 8, 2013
"Not sure what I found funny, some of the reviews were worth a laugh and the story of the poor man stuck between the tweens made me giggle. I’ve heard twifans talking and it went pretty much the same way. This book is very short, not impressed by that fact."

— Claire; ‘RAISE YOUR GLASS’ review via Amazon UK

10:31pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZiaSOxfquyHD
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: quotes Raise your glass twilight Amazon 
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