"To entertain, inspire, frighten, teach, and entice as many readers as possible." - Keith Helinski
Wastin' Away Press features Keith Helinski's writings, ranging from short stories online to movie reviews over the years. Also features an assortment of Keith's interests. If you like what you see, check out Wastin' Away Press's official Facebook.
Karii Lynn and I tied the knot last night. It was a very magical wedding. Both our faces couldn’t stop smiling! Everyone kept commenting how happy we looked together. For the record, that’s how we look all the time. We are both goofballs!
I wrote this piece two years ago, reflecting upon the tenth anniversary of ‘that day.’
Most pieces I write, are for fun. I do have joy in everything I write. Even some of my darker pieces (like ‘Now Seating…’) is meant to be enjoyed. I wrote ‘That Day,’ because I felt I had to write it. There was no joy in it, and it wasn’t exactly fun to write. But I had to write it.
The hour-by-hour events of ‘that day’ still haunt me, as I am sure it has haunted everyone. Writing about it was therapeutic.
"Most people don’t even take notice of the simple yet majestic sights around them. And the best part, you don’t need to max out your cards or dress to impress for these moments. All you need to do is just open up your eyelids once in a while, and be entertained by the world’s finest show: a sun curtsey for you."
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"I walked into a place called Wastin’ Away, expecting the same routine from the other joints. There was something quite unique about this place though. All the other hole-in-the-wall bars had the same bland, stale beer aroma. Wastin’ Away had a scent of sea salt. That’s right. Sea salt.
The pink exterior of the building sets the place apart from the other bars too. There was a plane right outside the bar, like that feeling of an escape to paradise. But I was in paradise!”
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I don’t believe in fate.Shit happens.Not for a reason.It just happens.But if fate is true as a lot of gullible people proclaim it is, then perhaps fate came along and decided that it was in my best interest for me to stumble upon Red Letter Media dot com through my Tumblr account earlier last year (2012).One of my Tumblr friends reblogged a link to the Mr. Plinkett’s video review of Episode One at the time ‘The Phantom Menace’ was unleashed in theaters…again…in 3D!I clicked on it without much thought, and was impressed with what I experienced (not watched or saw, experienced!)
If you ever wondered why ‘The Phantom Menace’ sucked…well, we all know why it sucked.But if you actually sat there lonely one night and thought about it thoroughly, evaluating everything that’s wrong with the film, Plinkett’s review goes in great detail, not leaving anything out.The review (or correctly worded, analysis) is organized into sections and includes film footage/interviews of the cast/crew/and even compares/contrasts Episode One to the original Star Wars.Not only does the review go in-depth about the filming aspects of ‘The Phantom Menace,’ but it touches upon the storytelling.
Adding layers to the review, it’s narrated by a fictitious man name Harry S. Plinkett (the man behind the voice is Mike Stoklasa), whom was born in 1906 (and is still alive, kickin’) and has this weird obsession with Pizza Rolls.He also likes to talk about his gambling problem, how he killed his multiple wives, and he often chats about his most prized possession: a Titanic popcorn bucket from 1996.
What I got a kick out of was not only how detailed/exact the review was, but also, how fucking funny it was (leaving me with a sore throat afterwards).The Plinkett saga expands with other Plinkett reviews, such as the rest of the shitty Star Wars prequels, selective Star Trek films, and a handful of random films (including overrated ‘Avatar’, mediocre (and I thought, forgotten) ‘Baby’s Day Out,’ and a very honest assessment of James Cameron’s ‘Titanic’).
Once I got through all of the Plinkett reviews on Red Letter Media dot com, I wanted to check out what else the site had to offer.Let me tell you, a person can spend WEEKS with all the material that’s on the site.I am ashamed to admit, I still haven’t gone through everything (such as their featured-length movies).I will, though.
What I have watched (and religiously follow) is their Half in the Bag web-series.
If you mix Siskel and Ebert ‘At the Movies’ and a cheesy sitcom premise from the ’80s in a blender, you get Half in the Bag.That’s the best way I can describe it.A couple of VCR repairmen, Mike and Jay,are heartless hacks that takes advantage of their brainless customers (such as unrelated to the Plinkett reviews, Mr. Plinkett).Their storyline expands with each episode, which is hit/miss in the funny department, but where the web-series counts is in the middle of their storyline, they talk about recent theatrical movie releases.Might sound corny, but it works (and all things consider, have you ever debated/bitched to your friends about movies you saw(?), same concept).
I love these guys, Mike and Jay.They are spot on with their reviews, and fact remains: they know what the hell they are talking about, since they are filmmakers themselves.
If fate does exist, I want to thank it (or him, or she, or he-she) for giving me the opportunity to find Red Letter Media dot com.Since then, the Internet hasn’t been the same.Online reviews don’t hold a candle to what the site offers.YouTube videos of cats being cats aren’t enticing anymore.Nothing is as funny (or entertaining) as the Plinkett or Half in the Bag reviews are.Even porn lost its appeal (sort of).
As I said, you can lose yourself for weeks exploring Red Letter Media dot com.I have.
Wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea in the first place, so I am content with this. ‘Lincoln’ was his best movie since ‘Munich,’ some even compare it to the caliber of ‘Saving Private Ryan’ or ‘Schindler’s List.’ Not going to argue with that one.
If I was Spielberg, I would take a break for a while - find a project he is passionate with. He has done everything he could possibly do, and accomplished more than most. I would even be content if he wanted to retire (unlikely). I just hope he DOESN’T do an Indiana Jones 5 (but, very likely he will!)